Where are you from?

I was born and raised in Kansas City (Missouri!).

But where are you from?

I see what you're doing here but I'm going to make you rephrase your question.

Okay, okay. You have an unusual name, which indicates some sort of non-Western/English/white heritage. What's your heritage?

My father was born in Iran. My last name is Persian, though technically my first name is Arabic—it means "scholar."

I've heard rumors...something about a middle name...

No comment.

Have you really gotten these questions all that frequently?

You know, I started writing this as a joke, but...yes. Though most people don't usually make it to #3...they stall at #2 and then flounder awkwardly.

Who is the best Star Trek Captain?

Finally, a good question! Obviously Captain Picard, my bald brother from a French mother.

So is The Next Generation your favorite Star Trek series?

Yes, The Next Generation is my favorite. Though Deep Space Nine's aesthetic is much closer to my own, I suppose.

You say you write books. Why haven't I seen them in any stores?

That is a far more interesting question than you realize.

What is that in the photo above?

That's my Fender Champion '54 Lap Steel. I mostly use it to play songs from the Pink Floyd/David Gilmour catalogue, like "High Hopes" and "One of These Days." I also own a Fender Stratocaster (2007, Mexican) with Custom Shop '69 pickups in the neck and middle positions and a Seymour-Duncan SSL-5 in the bridge; Gotoh locking tuners; and a Callaham tremolo system.

When it comes to the guitar, I'm more a hobbyist than anything, so it's not like you'll see me playing anywhere.

Banner photograph © Afsoneh Khorram.